Gettin Sappy and Taking Shit for Granted

I miss Anissa.  I miss her bewbs.  I miss her random texting me in the middle of the night.  I miss her hitting on big bird just to tell me she did it and I missed it.

I know that I am only one in 5 gazillion people that Anissa effects in life, and that there are hundreds out there that are in much more pain than I could even imagine.

Like her family.

Her gorgeous kids.

Her dear husband.

I feel for them.

I was talking to my husband about the whole thing, and it hit me- holy shit, do I take my life for granted or what?!

I do.

I can't imagine what I would do if something ever happened to Cory. Or- heaven forbid- the kids. And here is Peter, who falls into both of those categories. What a strong strong man.

Yesterday Cory stayed home with the kids because I had a job interview.  Then, when I got a last minute writing assignment, he stayed home and COOKED AN ENTIRE TURKEY for me, basting it every thirty minutes so it wouldn't dry out.

He put all the kids to bed for me, bathed them, fed them, tucked them in and kissed them.

Then, the man stayed up just to see how my gig went, to talk to me, and then- to tuck me in too, only to keep working in his office till I have no idea what hour.

I love this man. And I swear to god- if he so much even THINKS about getting sick on me, or so much as GLANCES at a motorcycle...so help me god...

When Cory Proposed

Our anniversary is coming up. I like to watch this every once in a while....

The List

Emily did this last year, so duh....of course I copied her!

I think I will do it again this year too, I so enjoyed it! But to rehash- here is "The List" from last year-

Pay close attention-

****Originally posted in December of 08***

Today, Emily did this on her blog.

Not only does she make me hungry like, every freaking day, but she's pretty funny. You should start reading her blog. Then go ahead and make her recipes, but just don't do it as well as I think I can. That makes me feel remarkably inadequate. Thanks!

I thought it looked like fun! You all know I like to "acquire" ideas from others, so I thought....hmm... I can do that! She said I can too, so here goes!

100 things that I love-

(in no particular order! So NO complaining!)

1.my husband 2. my children 3.my mom 4.my friends 5. books 6. school 7. cooking 8. cupcakes 9. yogurtland 10. Tall Mouse craft stores 11. cookbooks! 12. garage sales 13. clearance racks 14. Target 15. Nordstroms 16. coffee 17. cashmere socks 18. wearing no shoes 19. being in my pajamas for as long as possible 20. weekends 21. date nights 22. "practicing" 23. road trips! 24. diet coke 25. natural mothering 26. pecan pie 27. pumpkin pie 28. Charles Dickens 29. grocery shopping for new recipes 30. hosting parties 31. Pushing Daisies 32. Project Runway 33. Historical Fiction 34. William Stafford 35. Billy Collins 36. John Irving 37. libraries 38. rainy days 39. Paula Deen 40. Quilts 41. Crocheted blankets from my mom 42. old photos 43. Amelie 44. Gone with the Wind 45. cheeseburgers 46. BBQ 47. good heels 48. Amazon.com 49. Ebay 50. mentos 51. m&ms 52. presents from Cory 52. Blues 53. margherita pizza 54. my piano 55. NPR 56. samples at Costco 57. writing out cards 58. Charlotte Bronte 59. chile verde 60. holidays 61. new babies 62. pregnant women (the nice ones) 63. flats 64. real coffee shops 65. Etsy 66. the deli 67. going to my mother in laws for dinner 68. Danger Family FUNdays 69. G.K. Chesterton 70. Tattoos 71. Real cities 72. other people's gardens 73. getting my hair done 74. writing 75. bikes 76. Jane Austen 77. George MacDonald 78. plants in a house 79. sustainable thinking 80. Google 81. Italian food 82. good mexican food 83. Reading with the kids 84. teaching the boys at home 85. being an interfaith family 86. going to the movies 87. being in bed 88. real life crime shows/books 89. biographies 90. food network 91. hot rods with loud exhaust 92. twitter 93. having great neighbors 94. having a home. period. 95. baking 96. giving gifts 97. weddings 98. Rolling Stones 99. going for walks 100. history channel

She was right- that was way easy. I guess it is good to have so much that I love!

You should try it. What do you love?

p.s. I better be on that list....or else....

p.s. squared- don't forget about the giveaway! (this ended sooooo forever ago! You missed it!

xoxo-

J.danger

You know you were thinking it....

You know what I think sucks?

Birthday parties.

Birthday parties and holidays.

Birthday parties, holidays, and family vacations.

I know…I know…sacrelig, right?

WRONG.

I never used to understand my mom when I was younger. Every year we would go camping along the good Ole’ Colorado River, and I mean camping. Sleeping on cots, cooking over a fire, “relieving” yourself in bushes, coming home redder than lobsters. (Side note, one time I burned so bad I came home with sun poisoning. My lips were two giant blisters. YOU try eating campfire spaghetti with two giant blisters for lips!). My cousin and I used to hunt snakes, until we found them. Then we would remember- we were girls, and oh-my-GAWWWWD- they will eat us. Then we stopped hunting snakes. But my mom, not so much. I mean sure she had fun, she would bring her Stephen King novels with her and laugh with my aunts and stuff, but she was never EXCITED excited like we were. I mean, I packed for this trip in like FEBRUARY every year. I never quite understood it.

Until I had kids.

And we camped.

HOLY COW is it hard. Why the hell do you even call it a vacation anymore?! It is TOTALLY not. WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong. You know what it is?! It’s work, except for free, and in the dirt. You have to pack up like every dish known to man, and somehow get is to fit in ONE milk crate. You need to pack enough clothes for all the children (who will be playing in the DIRT!) for the entire week, and somehow get it in one bag. Plus, you never know what will happen, so now I also need to be a traveling medic (not THAT kind) and bring like, every single product that Band Aid and Johnson and Johnson make combined. Plus, the kids need to like, be comfortable, so we need cozies, and bears, and blankies, and on and on and on.
NOT FUN. I hear ya Mom, I hear ya.

Same thing with holidays. You get the kids allllll dressed up, so that they can shit themselves five seconds from your Great Aunt three times removed Gerda’s house. Then, all you do is chase them around the whole time yelling “DON’T TOUCH THAT”. Not fun.

And birthday parties?! I mean please, do I even need to say anything more? Um, hellllloooo? I BIRTHED YOU. Is this not enough already?!

So mom…here’s to you. Hats off lady, even if I did get skin cancer from all those camping trips. But me? I’ll pass. Here on out, it’s the Ritz for me.

God couldn't be everywhere at once, so he created moms....ahhhhh....

******I wrote this in July, when I was still pregnant to the MAX (as opposed to just looking like it, like, you know....NOW)*****

Somewhere in this pregnancy I stopped cleaning the house. No one noticed at first, so I just let it go. I keep up on the laundry, and do the dishes after I realize that leaving them in the sink until someone else notices them is doing me absolutely no good.

I DID mop the floors a week or two ago. Once. But really, they were still disgusting.

This was hard for me at first, because I usually keep a clean house. No joke folks, people envy me for my mad domestic skills. No joke.

But now? Not so much.

There is a bowling ball stuck to my midsection.

A three year old clinging to my right calf.

And an angry adolescent nagging at me from behind.

They all need something, NOW, which happens to be at the same time.

So first the make up went. Then the housekeeping.

Then? Sorry honey, but sex? Not so much.

Then my mom came over.

Cory and I left for a few hours- laundry fluffed and folded!

Floors cleaned, rinsed AND waxed.

Everything sparkled and glowed. The rugs were deodorized AND vacuumed.

The toilets were clean, the sinks were scrubbed.

AND she went grocery shopping for me.

At first I was totally embarrassed. OH MY GOD, my mom had to clean my house for me! I am the filthiest bum EVER.

But then I remembered- oh ya, this woman totally used to wipe my ass. AND she has been there for both gruesome bloody deliveries of those grand babies she loves so much.

But the poor hubs? There are still some things my mom won't do.

Damn it.

She clearly does not know why the caged bird sings

Judy Ahrens, who used to serve as a trustee for the Westminster School District, spoke at a Huntington Beach City Council meeting this week regarding her concern over a book that is available to 8th graders in their middle school library.  The book in question?  Maya Angelou's autobiography "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings".  Ahrens, and her cohort, Ocean View School District Trustee John Briscoe, claim that the rape scene in the book is vulgar and inappropriate.  Briscoe opened with "I am here to speak on behalf of the helpless children currently subject to inappropriate reading material in our local public schools".

It gets better.

Ahrens, during her presentation, emotionally stated to the audience "I would like to say I don't wish to read this material...but for the sake of the innocence of our children...sometimes we have to do things in life we are uncomfortable with".

Yes, Ms. Ahrens, indeed we do.  And contrary to your prerogative, sometimes these "things in life we are uncomfortable with" include

 teaching our children about rape; as well as racism, sexism, and class discrimination.  All of which, Angelou's book confronts.

You can read the full article here.

There is also a list of the top twenty most frequently challenged books, which includes "Of Mice and Men" which teaches our children about mental illness, "Heather Has Two Mommies" which encourages equal civil rights to homosexuals, and the Alice series- that famous series of books that has been passed from one sweaty pubescent nail polished hand to another for decades, encouraging young women to feel confident about themselves and their bodies and the changes that occur during puberty.

Are these really resources that we should be removing from our children?  In a time when they can hop on the family computer themselves and find another resource?  Say...pornography?  Or some extremist hate group luring young kids into prejudice?

And aside from the fact that these books get our kids to read, and therefore think, we need to confront the fact that these are all realities that our kids face on a daily basis.  We would be foolish, and doing great harm to our next generation, to act as though they do not exist, or that they are too filthy to bring to the table.

Here's an idea- instead of sweeping them under the rug, why not raise our children in such a manner that they will acknowledge that the world unfortunately holds such problems as these, and with compassion and empathy for other human beings, go out and do something about it?

But that's just probably some silly thought that I picked up from some vulgar book....

J.Danger

Pure Awesomeness

Oh wait....I blog?

Who knew.

So.  Hardest thing so far about having three boys?

Having three boys.

Let's catch up.  Had the baby, baby goes into NICU, baby gets out of NICU (THANK GOD!) and comes home with us. Two days later I am back in class.  Six days later, I go into the hospital, for FIVE HELLISH DAYS, with a fever of 106.3. Insane.

The idea of a schedule with this one is a joke.  JOKE.  Things are starting to calm down a little, and I think I am getting the hang of this thing all over again.

This week I met with an admissions counselor for Grad school.  (AHHHHHHHH!!!!! GRAD SCHOOL!!!!) It was scheduled for a Thursday, Cory's only day off, but he had a ton of stuff to do, so I had the two youngest boys.  And a meeting.  With an adult. That I had to impress.

So I thought quickly.  And what I came up with was.....

I just took em with me.  Get over it.  It is what it is.  I have three children, and sometimes they will be with me.  Take it or leave it.

But, before we left, Oliver decided that he was hungry.  Apparently, the TWO breakfasts he had that morning was not enough.  So, as I finally had all of three minutes and forty seven seconds to get ready for my appointment, Oliver bit Elliott on the nose.  Ferociously.  I had to pull him off of him he bit him so hard.  Terrible screams, blood, and bite marks later we all calm down and I grab my gorgeous camel colored cashmere sweater, pep talk myself up and walk out that door.

And then Elliott threw up all over my sweater.  I was late for the appointment, and my boobs leaked through my top.

Fun was had by all.  But god dammit, I showed up!

Maybe they will just write me up for an A in my first class, "The Art of Being a Total Train Wreck".

xoxo,

J.Danger